It has all happened to us at least once in our bourbon journey where we see that special bottle that we desire is either unattainable or you must overpay way above the manufacturer’s suggested retail price to obtain. We fear missing out on the opportunity to try such a highly desired bottle, then the next post we see is someone with multiples of that same bottle. How did that person get so lucky and not you? Or you enter into that bourbon raffle for the chance to win some special bottles and your name doesn’t even get called once, while others seem to have all the luck and win multiple times. Why not you? Or you see those people who seem to find an allocated bottle every time they walk into a store and you are still trying to find your first one. Or that special release that happens and someone seems to have gotten the inside information and beats everyone in line and walks away with the best bottle of the day. Why wasn’t that information shared with you? Or that that bourbon friend who you thought you could count on because you helped them out so many times never picked up the phone to share information with you, or even worse, they shared it with others leaving you out of the loop. Or your local store who you supported doesn’t give you a call when they get a special bottle in, they call someone else.

There’s so much focus on the physical aspect of bourbon hunting that oftentimes the mental aspect of it is overlooked. While it is joyous to finally obtain that bottle you have been dreaming about obtaining, the opposing feeling when your strikeout is also a major reality for many. When you worry and fear so much about missing out it robs you of today’s joy. The reality of it is that it is easier said than done to not let the negatives of bourbon get to you and affect you mentally. While I am no therapist and will never claim to be, writing has become an outlet and a way of releasing those emotions. The fear of missing out while others around me seem to be overflowing with amazing bottles has negatively affected me at times, and while I have found ways to try and not feel that way and it has gotten better, sometimes I still find myself falling into that same rut. Recently I have been on a streak of bad bourbon luck from missing out on a bourbon raffle to witnessing inside information allowing a group to score the best bottles at a release while I walked away empty handed. Despite being much better at dealing with the fear of missing out than I used to be, it was difficult for some of those same feelings to emerge again. I knew that if I was dealing with these feelings, many others have had the same experience and feelings. As a therapeutic way of dealing with these feelings I wanted to explore why we feel this way and what are  some ways to deal with these emotions.

Bourbon is more than just a drink—it’s a culture, a passion, a hobby, a community, a lifestyle and for many, a pursuit. For the enthusiasts, collectors, and curious newcomers alike, the world of bourbon can evoke excitement, connection, and pleasure, but there’s another side to this journey which is the anxiety of falling behind, of missing out on a rare bottle, a release drop, or a private tasting. This is known as the fear of missing out, or commonly referred to as FOMO. In today’s digital age, where bourbon clubs, social media, and secondary markets dominate the scene, this fear of missing out can become a source of stress rather than joy, which robs you of the fun and pleasure of bourbon. So how do we reclaim the pleasure in the pour? This article explores how to manage bourbon-related FOMO with a therapeutic lens, focusing on mindfulness, values, and connection.

The first thing that you need to understand is that FOMO is a natural reaction rooted in our human need for connection and validation. We are hardwired to feel this way at times and it is completely natural and normal. However, sometimes those normal feelings can become out of control and consume us. The key to overcoming and controlling your fear of missing out is to better understand it, so let’s start at the very beginning of how FOMO slowly develops. 

Fear of missing out in bourbon often begins innocently whether you hear about a limited release that is sold out in minutes, seeing a friend post a photo of a bottle you’ve never seen or had before, a bourbon event sells out before you even hear about it or the prices on the secondary market soar beyond what your budget allows. Each one of these experiences can trigger its own set of feelings of inadequacy, exclusion, envy, or anxiety. This is further elevated when oftentimes we view having these bottles as a marker of status or a sense of belonging to a group. Couple that with the passion that you have for this hobby, these feelings are often amplified. Scarcity, comparison, and the illusion of completeness that if we just got that one more bottle, we’d feel fulfilled. But this cycle never ends. There’s always another unicorn. There’s always a new release. There’s always someone with a bottle that you do not have. There’s always a raffle that you will not win. That innocent beginning of these feelings grow over time and become taxing on one’s mental health.

While you may never be able to fully eliminate some of these feelings, as they are purely natural human feelings, if left unchecked and unregulated there are a number of negative effects that FOMO can lead to. You may find yourself in chronic stress from trying to keep up with all of the newest releases. Keeping up with the newest trends and releases can lead to financial strain on you and your family. The feeling of social pressure to stay “in the know” or prove yourself in bourbon communities and groups. All of this can lead you to the disconnection from the original joy and curiosity that drew you to bourbon in the first place.

Navigating through these feelings can be aided by these therapeutic tools for dealing with these emotions.

Reconnect and realign yourself with your roots of how you go into bourbon. Everyone’s journey into bourbon is different, but it doesn’t matter what your story is, you have something that drew you into it in the first place. Whatever it is, find that again and reconnect with that reason to realign yourself as to why you enjoy bourbon in the first place. Maybe it was a special memory you have of sharing a pour with someone, if so call them up to have a pour with them. Even if they are across the world, technology these days allows the two of you to connect via video calls. If that special person in your life is no longer with you, have a pour in their memory just like old times. Maybe you were first drawn in by the storytelling, if so do some research on Sipping History of a brand you are less familiar with to learn more about their story of getting in your glass. Maybe it was the craft of making the spirit that first intrigued you. If so, go visit the websites of some of your favorite distilleries and read up on each of their bourbon making processes. For an added bonus, if you are able to, go out to a distillery or two and reconnect with the process and efforts that go into its production. With the rise of craft distilling, there may even be a great local option for to go and visit even if you do not live near a large distillery. Maybe there was a particular brand that you were first drawn into. If so, go and have yourself a pour of that and appreciate your beginnings and how far you have come since you first got into bourbon. Think about the bottles you have gotten to try and purchase over the journey. You will probably find that although you did miss out on some things, there were still plenty of unique things you have tried along the way. However your journey began get back to those basics and you will soon realize that you enjoyed bourbon before you let the fear of missing out consume you. Whatever you are fearing of missing out on you didn’t need that enjoy bourbon and you don’t need it now.

Reframe from associating scarcity as discovery. When we associate finding that hard to find allocated bottle with the idea that we discovered something new, when we miss out on that opportunity it can feel as if we missed out and were overlooked. The reality is that there are more bourbons out on the market that you have not tried that are waiting for you to discover than the amount of rare ones you miss out on. We must disassociate that rare bottle with discovery. There are many emerging craft brands and other available bottles from the big distilleries that you have not tried yet. In reality, just because that hard to find bottle is scarce, it doesn’t mean that it is any better tasting than other items on the shelf. With today’s market, there are several online retailers that you can search on to find something new that is not located in your area and have it shipped to your house (with shipping laws varying by state you may have to find that online retailer that has ability to legally ship to you). Or go out to your local favorite retailer and find that bottle you never tried but have been wanting to or pick up their latest store pick. Find a local bar with a decent bourbon collection and find something new to get a pour of. Find a fellow bourbon friend in the bourbon community and trade samples with them for something you have never tried before. This becomes a win win for the both of you. You can discover something new without it being rare. It is a shift in your mindset that should go from “I missed out” to “what else might I find that surprises me?”. 

Limit your social media. In this day and age with the accessibility of social media you probably find yourself checking your favorite application or Facebook group and scrolling through the pictures and videos of others without even realizing it. The truth is that social media amplifies your fear of missing out and is likely the biggest culprit of making you feel the way that you do. On social media we cannot control what others share from the large bottle hauls, brag posts about what bottle they just won, or group pictures of events that you missed out on. It is out of your control, but what is in your control is how much you view it. For most people it is not likely to give up social media altogether, but it is likely a great idea to limit the amount of time you expose yourself to this media. The reality of it is that as long as you are visiting social media you will see a post that could trigger your FOMO. Taking the tips in this article and limiting the amount of content you expose yourself to can help lessen those negative feelings. If you are finding that social media is consuming you and making you feel FOMO in unhealthy ways it may be best to take a break from social media for a while or to leave those groups. A less drastic approach could be to take a complete social media break at least once per week. Whichever way you decide to go, limiting social media a bit can have a positive effect on your fear of missing out.

Let go of the chase. Sometimes letting go is hard to do, but sometimes a necessity for your own well being. Letting go of the chase doesn’t mean you have to give up the hobby you enjoy, it means give up, or at least take a break from, chasing after those allocated bottles. Maybe that means leaving some of the secondary groups you are on or even some of the online communities. Maybe it is taking a step back from trying to enter in lotteries, raffles or waiting endlessly in line for releases. Instead of chasing things that you may not be able to obtain and end up being let down, chase something more obtainable like a bottle you are unfamiliar with when you are visiting an out of town store or a new unallocated single barrel at your local retailer. Giving up or taking a break from the chase can help you refocus and enjoy the bottles you already have or can easily obtain.

Building off of the previous point, return to the present. Sometimes we don’t know a good thing until it is gone and the same can be true for your bourbon collection. Enjoy the bottles that you have and learn to further your appreciation for them. Take a pause, take in the aroma, evaluate the flavors and enjoy the subtleties of the finish. Sit back and take in the moment. Take some time to learn about the history of your pour as you sip. When you learn to further appreciate what you have, you will have less desire to obtain those allocated releases.

Set a bourbon budget. If the bourbon hunt is putting a financial strain on you and your family consider setting a limit on the amount you spend in a period of time on the product. Staying and adhering to the budget will allow you to still make purchases but will force you to be more mindful about what you purchase. If you want a more expensive bottle then this method doesn’t stop you from getting it, but you may have to let some of your budget accumulate for a longer period of time before you let yourself make the purchase. This will also give you time to reflect on if you actually really want the product because you truly enjoy that brand or style of bourbon, or do you want it just because of the fear of missing out?

Finally, the last and most difficult thing to do is to accept it. You will miss out, and it is okay. You will miss out on something bourbon related, everyone does, even the biggest collectors and spenders. It is okay, it is the reality of things. Just like in life you cannot possibly experience everything that this world has to offer, it’s about savoring the moments and the time that you do have. While you may never be able to fully be free of the fear of missing out, the sooner you accept that it will happen and that it is fine the sooner that you will find peace in your pour. The bourbon hobby is supposed to be fun so don’t let the fear of missing out rob you of the joy of it. The fear of missing out in bourbon culture is real but with a little mindfulness, reflection, and reconnection to your deeper values, bourbon can return to being what it was always meant to be: a slow sip, a shared story, a simple pleasure. So next time you feel the onset of FOMO, take a breath and pour something you already love. Remember, you’re not behind, you’re exactly where you need to be.